Life....

These past few weeks have been a change for me. I am back on my anti-depressants, track season is almost here, and i'm feeling less and less hopeless. The psychiatrist said it would take at least 2 weeks for the pills to take effect, but i'm feeling them now. hopefully this will lead to me being "happy" again. I hear all these people talking about how much fun they had last night, my brother included. I hate being left out all the time, and all you people telling me to hit people up, you try being in my postition before you give me advice like that, because sometimes it can be real insensitive. If people liked me, they would think to invite me instead of me asking them, and i know that might be the best philosophy, but at least it's a real one. I think this poem kind of describes my feelings.........

When we two parted
In silence and tears,
Half broken-hearted
To sever for years,
Pale grew thy cheek and cold,
Colder thy kiss;
Truly that hour foretold
Sorrow to this.

The dew of the morning
Sunk chill on my brow--
It felt like the warning
Of what I feel now.
Thy vows are all broken,
And light is thy fame:
I hear thy name spoken,
And share in its shame.

They name thee before me,
A knell to mine ear;
A shudder comes o'er me--
Why wert thou so dear?
They know not I knew thee,
Who knew thee too well:
Lond, long shall I rue thee,
Too deeply to tell.

I secret we met--
I silence I grieve,
That thy heart could forget,
Thy spirit deceive.
If I should meet thee
After long years,
How should I greet thee?
With silence and tears.
-Lord George Gordon Byron